My daughter is seven years old. We have been reading the Gospel Principles manual for a while now. Today, after reading the first part of Chapter 16: The Church of Jesus Christ in Former Times, there was a question to answer. Why does the Church of Jesus Christ need these six features? (Those features are, Revelation, Authority from God, the Church Organization, First Principles and Ordinances, Ordinances Performed for the Dead, and Spiritual Gifts.)

This was her answer:

Without spiritual gifts you would’t be able to have visions, prophesy, or perform miracles. Everything gets out of order without the Holy Ghost.

Without the Holy Ghost we wouldn’t know what to do. The Holy Ghost is the Spirit and you can’t have Spiritual gifts wihout the Holy Ghost.

If we never taught the spirits of the dead they’d never hear the Gospel and never get to accept the Gospel. How can you accept something you don’t know about? That’d be a little silly. It wouldn’t make sense.

If we didn’t have authority from God we wouldn’t have revelation or the church organization. It would be like we had nothing, no church.

(edit: here’s the link to the lesson we read: LDS.org – Sunday School Chapter Detail – The Church of Jesus Christ in Former Times)

My name is Hazel Davidson and I was asked to give a talk about Jesus Christ always obeying Heavenly Father.

Jesus Christ always obeyed Heavenly Father, by following the “My Gospel Standards.”

Jesus remembered his baptismal covenants and listened to the Holy Ghost.

Jesus was honest with Heavenly Father, others, and himself.

He sought good friends and treated others kindly.

He dressed modestly to show respect for Heavenly Father and himself.

He only read things that were pleasing to Heavenly Father.

Jesus also only watched things that were pleasing to Heavenly Father. For example, even though there was
no TV, he did NOT stand by and watch a woman get stoned for her mistakes.

Jesus listened to music that was pleasing to Heavenly Father.

He used the name of Heavenly Father reverently and did not swear or use crude words.

He kept his mind and body sacred and pure, and did not eat or drink things that were harmful to him.

Jesus did those things on the Sabbath that helped him feel close to Heavenly Father.

He chose the right.

Jesus was worthy to go to the temple and served a mission the last few years of his life. He followed Heavenly Father’s plan for him, by becoming our Savior.

He was a child of God, just like us.

He knew Heavenly Father loved him, and Jesus loved Heavenly Father.

He prayed to Heavenly Father anytime, anywhere.

I had a personal experience, that I feel bad when I don’t follow Heavenly Father, but I know I can work hard and repent when I make a mistake. I am trying to follow Jesus.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Note: The “My Gospel Standards” used was the 1997 version found here (scroll down a bit. We didn’t notice there was a change. The current one can be found here.

I sat down at the computer to start doing homework and saw what she wrote. I laughed hard. My husband was like, what? So, of course, I had to have him read it because I just couldn’t read it to him. This is exactly what she wrote. Enjoy.

“I love my mom. She is good a lot. She helps me a lot.29+1=30 We like her. We do work together. My mom is nice. She is great. Mom goes to school! But she is at school all day long! BOO said the pumkin 30+1=31 We give hugs and kiss. I coler for her. Its omost Halloween! I love Halloween!! You are a good! 100+0=100 My mom loves me a lot! I help her a lot! I go to school just like my mom!! 1+100=101 I think dad and my mom is very cool. My mom and I have fun times but not a lot . My dad is lazy. He is a bump. Me and mom are not lazy.”

Note: My husband was laid off back in April. I think that’s where she’s getting her idea from. . . that, and sometimes he’s in a lazy mood and will say, I’m feeling lazy.

Hazel: Mom, if babies aren’t cut out how do they come out? Does it [making belly popping gestures] pop? [she had a that-doesn't-quite-make-sense look]
Mom: No, the baby doesn’t pop out.
Hazel: So, then how does the baby get out?
Mom: [sighing since there doesn't seem to be any way out of the conversation, then looks straight at Hazel] Through your v-.
Hazel: [big eyes, hands covering her v-] Owwwww.
Mom: But it’s not a big deal because your body prepares for it.
Hazel: [pauses and takes a few bites of egg - yes I made eggs for dinner] So, how does the baby come out through the v-?
Mom: [surprised that the conversation isn't over] Contractions, your muscles in your abdomen start moving like this [makes exaggerated contraction motions with hands].
Hazel: How does that make the baby come out?
Mom: The muscle contractions [makes exaggerated contraction motions with hands] help push the baby out.
Hazel: How does it get through the v-?
Mom: Well, the contractions let the body know that it’s time and it makes the v- bigger. It’s small like this [curls forefinger and thumb together] and then when the contractions happen it slowly gets bigger like this [slowly makes about a ten centimeter circle with hands] so it’s big enough to let the baby through.
Hazel: [nods] Oh. [a few minutes later she asks] You know when I came out?
Mom: [what this conversation isn't over yet!?] Yeah?
Hazel: How did you know I was done?
Mom: The contractions. You don’t get them until it’s time [really my water broke first but I was opting for the KISS method].
Hazel: What if it hurts too much?
Mom: Oh, the hospital has medicine for that.
Hazel: Did you have medicine?
Mom: Yep.
Hazel: You couldn’t handle it?
Mom: Only because I wouldn’t listen to Daddy.
Hazel: So, you could handle it if you listened to your husband, if you didn’t listen to your husband you couldn’t handle it?
Mom: That’s right.
Hazel: How long did it take you to get me out?
Mom: From the time my water broke at 10:20 to 3:35 [counts on my fingers and thinks, oops, I hope she doesn't ask me what "water broke" means] was five hours and fifteen minutes.
Hazel: And the contractions made me come out?
Mom: Yes, but at the last part the doctor said I had to help push you out and I only had three pushes.
Hazel: How did you help?
Mom: It’s kinda like when you go poopy, but not.
Hazel: Like this? [makes pushing motions and noises]
Mom: Sort of.
Hazel: [after a bit of thinking, and here Mom notices that whenever Hazel is looking to her upper left she's mulling things over and getting ready to ask another question] How do you get the baby?
Mom: What do you mean?
Hazel: How do you get the baby so that it doesn’t go bonk, pth bleh [makes baby hitting its head on something gestures and noises], and not get hurt?
Mom: Oh! That’s what the doctor’s there for.
Hazel: The doctor catches the baby and helps the baby come out nice and safe?
Mom: Yes.
[A few minutes later while Mom is clearing the table and putting away extra food, Mom realizes the conversation isn't over.]
Hazel: Mom, [turns around in chair towards kitchen] if the baby is in your tummy what happens to your food?
Mom: Well, we say it’s in our tummy but it’s not really. The baby isn’t in your stomach where your food goes.
Hazel: Oh, it’s not?
Mom: No.
Hazel: Where is it then?
Mom: In your uterus.
Hazel: Uterus? [makes a weird face] But where does your food go? [gestures wildly at the trunk of her body]
Mom: Hazel, is your brain the same as your heart? [points to each organ as she says them]
Hazel: [shakes head]
Mom: Is your heart the same as your stomach?
Hazel: [shakes head]
Mom: Then does it make sense for your stomach and uterus to be the same?
Hazel: [smiles] No.
[This led to a discussion of the digestive system, complete with Mom drawing a simple diagram, with Hazel trying to figure out how the body absorbs what it needs. It also led Mom to draw a simple diagram of the uterus and making it slowly get bigger and bigger. After this Hazel was satisfied. Yay! But then she asked]
Hazel: How come only girls can have a baby?
Mom: Because boys don’t have a uterus, only girls do.
Hazel: Why?
Mom: Because boys are different from girls.
Hazel: How?
Mom: [exasperated going back to the basics, thank you Kindergarten Cop] Look boys have a p- girls have a v-.
Hazel: P-? [gives me the what-are-you-talking-about look]
Mom: [sigh] Okay, you know what what Daddy looks like naked? [that's a funny story right there]
Hazel: Yeah.
Mom: That’s not a fat v- [as Hazel previously asserted many moons ago] that’s a p-.
Hazel: Oh. So, why do boys have a p- and girls have a v-.
Mom: Because God made us that way. It’s just the way it is.
Hazel: Okay.
[Done! Huzzah! YAY!]

I didn’t start asking such in depth questions until I was nine, I was happy knowing that having babies is something that big people can do. . . Dang. No wonder her school teacher said that Hazel was academically ready for third grade. Geez. . .

Edit: Note, all instances of “v-” refers to the female nether regions that start with that letter, and all instances with “p-” refers to the male nether regions that start with that letter. I changed it because I have been having some spam issues and I am hoping that they will cease since they started soon after this post was created.

I am amazed, pleased, and gratified in this act of generosity from her. I hope she stays generous, and develops money smarts to go with it.

Life’s been just full of stuff.  I just got over being sick, some stomach virus. Kenlon got it too, a few hours after I did. Hazel had it already, so she was the only one well. This was good. She missed school because we were too sick to take her but she really helped us out. She brought us fluids, and when we were feeling well enough to try eating plain boring ol’ toast she made us toast! Yep, that’s right, she made us toast. She ate carrots, fruit (thank goodness we actually had some this time), toast, cheese (she cut it herself with a butter knife that had slightly serated edges). I told her how to warm up her own food so she had left over macaroni and cheese chili.

It said: Ask me about my talents:

Swimming (she needs a teacher)

Ride my bike (she has a tricycle)

Be nice to others (she’s generally nice to everybody, even the people who suck, so maybe that is a talent)

Listen to Mommy (I chuckled at this one, she does listen, but she also doesn’t)

Reading (no arguments there, she’s a fantastic reader)

Ohhhh. Martin Luther King Jr! We talked about it a little bit, I read a part of the I Have A Dream speech that I have hanging up in my bedroom. Curious, I  asked her, “So, do you know anyone with dark skin?” She thought about it a little bit and then said, “No, I don’t think so.” “Are you sure?” She thought about it some more and asked “Do you?” I smiled. “Yes.” She asked me who. I mentioned a lady at church. She tried to think about people she knew with dark skin and said “No, I really don’t know anyone with dark skin”. I smiled and said that was okay. 

I could only smile at her response because there is a girl in her class who’s from Africa. She’s “black”, her skin is darker than everyone elses. But Hazel does not see her as someone with dark skin.

So I started downloading the videos and while waiting for them to finish I had this conversation with Hazel, who is five years old and in Kindergarten.

Me: “Do you like reading the Bible?”
Hazel: “A little bit.”
Me: “Is it sometimes not as fun as reading the Book of Mormon?”
Hazel: “Yeah, the Book of Mormon is fun to read but not really the Bible.”
Me: “That’s because the Bible is not perfectly translated.”
Hazel: “That’s because it’s not in English.”

PS: She likes the Bible videos.